Tricking and Disasters
by VioletGlare
Summary: Lina and the others are tricked again by the Trickster Priest! What did he do this time?Slight Lina&Xellos. ONESHOT.


**Note: This takes place around the middle of the second season, a little oneshot including Sylphiel. Enjoy.**

It was a terrific hot day. Almost nobody was visible, since most of the people were hiding in the bushes, where it was a little more chilly. Most of them…

On the road, five brave travelers were crawling, begging to the sky to find a town, especially if it had lots of restaurants. They were none other than Lina Inverse, the sorceress supreme,Gourry Gabriev, the no-brain swordsman, Zelgadis Greywords, the chimera sorcerer, Amelia Seyruun, the princess of justice (and Seyruun) and Sylphiel Lahda, the airhead Gourry fan.

They started another journey to find the Clare Bible, which, according to Xellos, was somewhere deep in some cave. All they found in that cave where some naked cannibals, so Zelgadis was prepared to rip off Xellos's head when he'll got the chance. If he'll got the chance.

So here they were, walking on a road, feet burning from the ground, body all sweaty and mouth all dry. It hadn't rain since two weeks ago, all the trees were cracking dry, so there wasn't any shadow they could sleep in. Worse, they came across villains all the time. Lina was so angry she blewed them up with FireBalls bigger than usual, but her strength had left her, so she could only run(or something that looked like running).

Finally, after lots of praying, they came across one big city protected by a huge white wall all around it. Next to the city were growing lots of trees, full of flowers and fruits that were delicious. You couldn't explain why, only if inside was indeed a Clare Bible manuscript! They were content, but just when they were about to go in, they saw an inscription on the wall. _Welcome to the city of Love. Only_ _couples are allowed to walk through this door. If not respected, there shall be consequences._ Lina groaned, but then an idea came into her mind, and she smirked.

"So, only couples,neh? Then Amelia, you go with Zel and Sylphiel, you go with Gourry."

"And what are you going to do,Lina?"Zelgadis asked her. " I'll remain here under the trees (eating ,of course) and wait until you're coming back with the manuscript." "But miss Lina,don't you think it's rude to make us do all the work while you're resting?" "And what do you expect me to do? You seen what's written over there, only couples. Remember what happened when we went at the all girls city? I don't want my head to be cut off. I'll stay here, only if you don't make a boy appear by magic."

"I actually don't mind if miss Lina stays here. Do you, Gourry dear?" Sylphiel asked Gourry, taking him by the hand. " No, you can stay here, but I have a question. What does 'couple' means?" Everybody fell to the ground. Lina rose up and punched him in the head. " YOU JELLYFISH BRAINS!"

"My, my, it seems that you found the true hiding of the Clare Bible manuscript. I should've known my little joke won't keep you busy for too long." Xellos, the Trickster Priest, appeared behind Lina, scaring the living daylights out of her.

"You son of a…" Zelgadis took him by the collar and rose him up. "How dare you mock us again? Why did you send us to that stupid cave when the manuscript was here?" Xellos opened one eye and raised one finger. " Now that is a secret!" "Why you-" "Calm down, Zel, you can kill him _after_ you take the Clare Bible. Hurry up! Sooner the better!" Lina said in a cheerful tone. Zel sighed and let go of him. Xelos smiled and looked at Lina , who was lazily eating a peach beneath one tree. "Lina,aren't you going in? I thought you were the kind who liked adventure, was I wrong?" "Stop joking, Xellos, you know already what this city is. Since we are uneven, I can't go inside so I'll wait here." Gourry looked at all of them and started counting. "Me, Sylphiel-a pair. Amelia, Zel-a pair. Lina, Xellos-a pair. What's uneven?" Lina chocked with the peach and started coughing. Amelia thought for a moment. "Actually, miss Lina, if you will pair with mister Xellos we could all go and the chance to find the manuscript will increase, right? You won't mind, right mister Xellos?" Xellos opened one eye and looked at Lina. "Of course I won't mind." Lina eyed him furiously. Everybody was looking now at her. So her chance to relax a little was now gone. She will kill Xellos…

"Fine. Let's go." They all approach the huge wooden door and knocked. The doors opened and twenty soldiers came in view. "Who are you?" The first of them said. Lina put her cute face. "Oh, you see, we are a little lost, we went on a trip with our friends, and we were wondering if we could spend the night here, right, Xellosy?" She grabbed his hand. 'I think I'm going to be sick…' She thought. Xellos smiled. "That's right,sweetie." 'Sweetie? Now I'm really starting to get sick.' The others followed her and quickly hold hands, even is Gourry still had no idea what was going on. The soldiers eyed them for a moment, then they let them in. The city was beautiful: it had lots of fountains and statues, and everybody in there were looking so in love.

They stopped in a little corner where nobody could hear them and looked at a map of the city Xellos brought. Lina placed her fingers on the map. "So, Gourry, you and Sylphiel go in the west part of the city. There is a big forest over there, go inside and check out for any ruins. The manuscript might be there. Zelgadis and Amelia, you go in the east side. There are lots of churches. Me and Xellos are checking the centre of the city. We will reunite right here in 4 hours .And don't forget to act properly. Got it?" Everybody nooded. "Then go!" Everybody separated, leaving only Lina and Xel…Huh? Where did he go? She looked around , but he was nowhere. That idiot! What if someone is going to see her alone and cut her head? Where the hell did he go? "Looking for me, Lina?" Lina jumped in surprise when she heard his voice. She kicked him in the head with her elbow. "Idiot! Where the hell did you went?" "That is a secret!" Lina sighed. "Of course…Let's get going." Xellos took out his book and read a few pages. "You chose well, Lina. In the centre of the town they aren't only very few places that we need to check out." "Yeah, I've got a sixth sence when it comes to easy jobs." Lina smiled. "Can we eat first?" They were in front of a restaurant. "Be my guest."

In the west part of the city, Sylphiel and Gourry were heading inside the forest. According to the map Xellos gave them, they were some ruins just a few miles away from the point they were now. Sylphiel could feel some energy coming from there. Good thing she's with Gourry, or she would've been frightened to death. They came across a few beasts, but Gourry scared them with his Sword of Light.

They finally arrived at the ruins. They were just lots of stones sprawled across a few hectares. In the middle there was a small temple, which was staying to fall. Sylphiel was sure the energy came from inside. There was a big stone wall they had to go through unfortunately. They both looked for any passages around, or holes, but they found nothing so they had to break the wall somehow. How good it was if Lina was here too. Sylphiel tried a Flare Arrow, but she only made a carrot. Gourry took his Sword of Light and started kicking in the wall. Seeing he wasn't succeeding, Sylphiel started to touch the wall gently, looking for some button or something. She found a brick that was outer than the rest, so she pushed it in and the wall slowly rose up. They got in, but it was too dark to see.

"Lighting!" Sylphiel shouted and a light bulb formed in her hand. They slowly started to walk forward.

In the east side of the city, Zelgadis and Amelia already checked almost all the churches and monuments and found nothing. The only one left was the big church placed in front of the city exit. They walked inside and started looking through icons and books and still nothing. Then Zelgadis stepped over something… He took off the rug and looked underneath. There was a secret passage. He opened the door and saw stairs. He called Amelia and they both walked inside. As they walked, every candle on the walls was lighting alone when they were walking next to it. They finally arrived in one small room that only had a small bookshelf in one corner. They started taking out books and looking in them.

In the centre of the town, Lina had just finished her two hundred plates of food and, rubbing her now full belly, they went to their first stop, which looked like a normal building. When they got in, Lina stared at all the red curtains, pink heart-shaped beds and pillows. She looked at Xellos with an indecipherable face. "You brought us to a brothel?" "Here I could feel some energy, so the manuscript may be here." "That's not the reason why there's energy here…" Lina scratched the top of her head and shouted. "Why would any sane person hide a Bible manuscript in a brothel?" "Maybe they don't know they have the manuscript. It's going to be easy, Lina. All we have to do is go to the attic and check out there and if it's not there we'll have only one stop left and we're done." Lina sighed. "Fine, but you're owning me another row of food." "All right."

They slowly climbed the stairs until the first floor. Just when they were going to climb the ladder to the attic, some ugly drunk man took Lina by her wrist. "M'hello, lady, why dwo't we go find a nwice place, huh?" Lina clenched her fist and kicked the man in the chin, then rose her foot and kicked him in the balls. He dropped unconscious to the floor. Anyone who'll walk over there will think he passed out from the drink. They climbed the ladder and reached the attic. It was very dusty, besides some very eccentric costumes, it was only a chest. Xellos went to the chest and started using some tools to open it, while Lina took some of the costumes to study them in a dusty mirror. " Don't you think it's really weird that there's a brothel in a city that's supposed to be lovers-only?" "I think the mayor doesn't know about this place: remember that, on the outside looks just like any other building." "You're probably right." She then heard a _click_ sound and turned around to see Xellos opening the chest. She went next to him to look inside. Her face got blue. Inside the chest, they were whips, used condoms and a few love poems. Xellos took the chest and threw the insides on the floor. He then moved his foot around the things to see if there's anything useful. Lina grabbed all the papers and looked at them, but they were only love poems and some of them were really disgusting. Xellos found a book, but it really wasn't what they were looking for (if you know what I mean). So they quickly ran outside the brothel, before anyone else saw them. When they were no longer in sight , Lina made Xellos trip and she jumped on his back, placing her hand aroung his neck and started kicking him. "Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!"

In the ruins, Sylphiel and Gourry were heading forward inside the temple. When they reached the dead-end , the only thing that was there was a…grave. Sylphiel whitened from fear. "We don't have to open that, right, Gourry dear?" "I think we have to." Gourry grabbed the stone that was covering the grave and started pushing it so it could reveal what was inside. Hundreds of bats and spiders came out of nowhere and rushed everywhere. Sylphiel shouted and jumped on Gourry's back. When they all calmed down, she got down, blushing. Inside the grave it was only some mud and some bones hardly visible. But something was shining. Gourry took it off and saw that it was a medallion. Right then the temple started to tremble and stones were falling from the ceiling. "Gourry dear, you've activated a curse! Throw that medallion away!" Gourry thrown it back inside the grave and took Sylphiel in his arms. He rushed as fast as it could outside the temple. He just made it in time, because right then the wall collapsed and the temple became a mass of stones just like the others. Gourry sighed and placed Sylphiel on the ground. "I don't think they were any manuscripts in there." Sylphiel said. " Can we go to eat now?" "Sure." And they walked back inside the forest.

After searching every book and moving the bookshelf to see if there isn't anything suspect ,Amelia and Zelgadis went back up. Right when they were about to open the door, they heard voices. "Damn it! They started the ceremony!" Zeladis whispered . " What are we going to do?" Amelia asked, frightened. Zelgadis thought for a moment and smiled. " There's only one thing we can do: what Lina does." "You're sure?" "Absoulutely. Move a little further." He then shouted. "Flare Arrow!" The door was destroyed in tiny pieces. They took advantage of the moment and ran as fast as they could, jumped out the window and rolled into the bushes right before the priests and the villagers came to see what happened. Zelgadis placed his hand over Amelia's mouth an peeped out to see what they're saying. They heard the priest: " I don't know, I think they were some thieves. But there's nothing to be stolen." One man said: "Should we announce the guards?" "No, I think they ran away. Shall we continue then? We'll ask the mayor about the repairs tomorrow." Then they all went to the front.

Zelgadis and Amelia sighed . "Mister Zelgadis, if we're ready now, can we go and eat something. I'm really hungry." "Of course, I'm hungry too. Let's go."

In the centre of the town, after Lina left Xellos bruised and sore, they went to their last place. Lina threatened Xellos that if is another brothel or something like that, she will FireBall his butt until he was going to wish he was never born. They're last place was, actually, the fountain in the exact centre of the city. It had a Cupidon statue that was spitting water. Xellos had a point: since love is somehow White magic, and this city is filled with love(or at least appears to be) , this fountain being placed in the middle of it might suggest that there's indeed the Clare Bible hidden inside it. So there's where she takes place: blewing up things was her forte, after all. Good thing that all the people went to the east side of the city, at the churches(I mean everybody went, it was looking like a haunted city now) . "So, Lina, now it's you time. Blow up the fountain as quietly you can." "Yeah, yeah, whatever. FireBall!" The fountain was intact. "The hell…?" "Hmm…it appears that the fountain is protected by some very strong spell. Then we really found something." Xellos said, with his finger under his chin. "You don't say, Sherlock? Flare Arrow!" Nothing. "Digger Bolt!" Nothing. "Freeze Arrow!" Nothing. "Elmekia Lance!" Still nothing. Lina was getting angry. "Now that's it! Play time's over!" Right then the rest of them appeared. Lina looked at them. "Anything?" "Nothing." They all said. "Everybody, move out." "Miss Lina, you aren't going to-"

"Yes I am." They all went as far as they could. Lina breathed and gathered all her powers.

_Darkness beyond Twilight, Crimson beyond Blood that flows, buried in the Stream of Time is where your power grows. I pledge myself to conquer, all the foes who stand, before the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hands. Let all the fools be destroyed by the power you and I posses. DRAGON SLAVE!_

The spell destroyed the whole city, and the fountain. Lina looked inside to fountain and to her delight she found a piece of paper. She read it and she passed out. Zelgadis took the paper and read it too, and after that he got red from angry. "You bastard! You're dead!" He started running after Xellos. "Gaav Flare!" Amelia took the paper and read it. " This is an unpaid bill for the fountain!" "Maybe the mayor didn't have money to paid it, so he hid it in here and placed a spell so it won't be found." Sylphiel thought. Lina slowly recovered . "Ray Wing!" She went after Xellos, took him by the collar and throwed him kilometers away.

Then she went down. Someone tapped her shoulder. She turned around and Xellos whispered to her ear: "It was a pleasure, sweetie." And he kissed her cheek. Lina raised her hand, but he teleported, leaving them only his laughter as a sign he been there. "Umm, guys , I think we have to go." Zelgadis pointed at all the villagers running with arrows and knives at them. "YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS XELLOS!" Lina shouted after she started running for her life.

**This was my first Slayers oneshot. Please tell me what you think. Review or...**

_***Darkness beyond blackest pitch. Deeper than the deepest night. King of darkness, who shines like gold upon the sea of chaos. I call upon thee, and swear myself to thee. Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed by the power you and I posses: Giga Slave!***_


End file.
